However, the subtext is often that foreign women are a dangerous choice — too casual, the temptress, etc — or could not accept a Chinese way of life.
Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair.
On the other hand, there are Chinese men — and their families — who would be happy to have a foreign woman in the family. For example, my good friend in Hangzhou, Xiao Yu, once told me that some Chinese men cannot overcome their feeling of inferiority — that being an American girl, a citizen of one of the most powerful countries in the world, made my presence somewhat intimidating.
According to Xiao Yu, some Chinese men could never believe that such a girl would become their one and only. A driver who took me to the Beijing Airport this summer admitted he once had a Russian girlfriend when he was a college student.
Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.
Fortunately, their ideas changed when they met me in person!
I was shocked that they couldn’t see the hypocrisy in that line of thinking.
The fierce anger and backlash of my frankness caused me to retreat on the issue, and years passed as I saw the evidence of what I said come to pass.
Off the top of my head, I can think of Rachel De Woskin’s Foreign Babes in Beijing: Behind the Scenes of a New China and Repeat After Me: A Novel, Nicole Mones’ Lost in Translation, and Pearl S. So I began to wonder — why are there so few Chinese guys and foreign girls becoming couples?
Of course, some of it has its roots in the usual stereotypes — stereotypes in the Western World.
But it will be life changing…only if you’re ready to swallow the pink pill.