The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.
Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent.
And remember, if the date turns out to be good, you’ll want to continue that distance. (We know the dating sites are making money.) But if you’re truly looking for a genuine, equal relationship, don’t give up easily, if at all.
Local cougar chateooms - First date internet dating
The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.
With those thoughts in mind, now it’s time to think about specific first date questions.
Dancing can really help a date, especially if both people like to dance.
The process of dancing can move you both closer physically and help cut the ice. In my own situation, I did finally meet someone on the internet – not on a dating site per se, but on a “rant” site.
I have a lot of advice for women, too, for they’re the ones I dated. 1) You gotta have a hard shell when you’re trying to date on the internet through the various dating sites. One person I ended up dating had erased ten years with a slight feint of the keyboard. Figure out a way on this – most of the sites have an easy method to follow in posting photos – and have a focused photo with your face clearly shown. At this stage of the dating process, men won’t know you from your sisters sitting next to you.
There are many rejections – you “wink” at someone and never hear back, or you begin an online discussion, and they quit on you without a goodbye or a howdy-do. But they do – both men and women dissuade you from the truth with intentional falsehoods. From my own experience I know this, and I heard plenty of stories by women I dated about men and their cyber lies. Go ahead and throw several pics up there – not too many, however, or it will seem like you’re desperate or you don’t care about your privacy. And if your faceshot is next to others without being clearly define, you’re in trouble. 4) Be realistic in terms of how far you’re willing to travel for dates.
Those images of you and them crumbles into cyberdust. It is a dance – the whole process of dating on line.
I experienced many of them and do I have many stories to tell. I went on so many first dates I could write a book – or at least set up an online internet dating advice column. There all unspoken rules, there are cautionary tactics, there are red flags – and first dates and more can be quite fun and joyous too. Ya gotta have fun while dating – not just you – but you and your date. I didn’t spend all those years just going on first dates – that would be strange.
They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions.