It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.Months and sometimes years after a relationship, my heart rate still accelerates when I see an ex is dating someone new on Facebook. I wasn't entitled to feel this way — I broke up with him!
We were never exclusive and hadn't spoken in six months! After doing some soul searching, I realized my reasons were different for each person.
With the first ex, I still relied on him for emotional support the way I did when we were dating, and seeing him with someone else made me wonder if we could still have as close a relationship.
What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.
This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.
If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party.3. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.
But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!
A friend once told me his test of whether he's over an ex is whether it would bother him if they were dating someone else.
Under that logic, I've never gotten over anyone in my life.
Save it for your diary or for anyone who didn't date him. This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you'll find a sympathetic ear.