Plus, when I broke up with him, he said he refused to move on and planned to marry me — a promise he obviously couldn't keep, but it planted in the back of my mind the assumption that if I ever had a change of heart, he would be there.With the second (non) ex, I realized there was an ounce of hope lingering in me that maybe we would reunite one day, and seeing that he was no longer available crushed it.
A friend once told me his test of whether he's over an ex is whether it would bother him if they were dating someone else.
Under that logic, I've never gotten over anyone in my life.
If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party.3. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.
But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!
Discomfort with an ex publicly pairing up again is also acknowledged in pop culture; after Marnie breaks up with Charlie on Girls, she obsesses over the other woman she sees in his Facebook photos."Most people don't want to feel expendable, rejected, or out of control," sex and relationships therapist Cathy Beaton tells Bustle.
Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex.What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.This goes for friends and partners who haven't dated, too, now that I think of it.Set aside time for each of them and honor it — don't drag your lover along on girls' night out (not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are 4. Don't ask your man if you're prettier/smarter/better at Scrabble than his last girlfriend.I can count the degrees of hookup separation between my closest friends and myself, and usually come up with no more than two or three.