I’m a big believer in efficiency when it comes to dating. Y’see, online dating can seem for folks, especially people who have a touch of approach anxiety or hate the bar and club scene but don’t necessarily want to try hitting up strangers at Barnes and Noble.
In practice, however, we have these tendencies to expend a lot of our time and energy on aspects of dating which prone to wasting your time with online dating than you are trying to meet women by making a cold approach at a bar or making small-talk with the cute librarian you ran into at Starbucks.
To abuse the metaphor further, you want to be tossing as much out there as you can and seeing what floats to the top. Some people are just going to disappear off the face of the earth with no warning.
It’s one thing when you’re meeting women in person – unless you’re a graduate of the Lando Calrissian Player School, then you’re only going to be flirting with one woman at a time. Even if someone seems perfect on paper, you have no idea how well you’re going to work out in person… Even two or three dates isn’t enough to preclude things not working out.
Yes, there are occasionally people who use OKCupid like a sex ATM. Women have it just as bad as men do – they may get deluged by guys who assume we’re the lone exception, that those non-responses are somehow a judgement of us as a person and that everyone else has it better or easier than we do.
Sometimes that anger and resentment spills out into your messages to other people – I’ve lost track of the number of “You won’t talk to me, you must be some BITCH!!! ” messages that my female friends have shared with me.
The key is to be short and sweet; the longer the email, the more likely it’s going to seem as though you’re too desperate. if you’re already assuming that they’re not likely to write back time writing out a sonnet?
I’m a fan of the dating site email template – less of a form letter and more of a very easily customizable email that you send out in order to save time.Why do all of that when you can meet women without leaving your house?Flirt to your heart’s content without even bothering to get dressed!Needless to say, it was kind of an insult even back then; nothing screams romance more than “I’m interested in you but not enough to actually to join the site.” Fortunately most sites seem to have wised up and charge a subscription fee instead, but the vestigal organ that is the “wink” hangs in there like an appendix and does nothing but cause trouble.Here’s the thing: everybody knows exactly what it means when a guy sends one of these.This is the reality of 99.999% of people who use OKCupid or Match or Plenty Of Fish or Geek2Geek or Fetlife or Christian Singles or JDate…